Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize