You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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