You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
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Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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