out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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