how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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