i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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