Cold hands, warm shart.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize