Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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