I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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