I wish my penis had an off switch
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize