Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Terrible idea I love it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize