Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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