First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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