i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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