remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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