the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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