If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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