Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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