Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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