Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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