I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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