id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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