She said her name was "party"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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