do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize