you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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