I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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