In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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