a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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