fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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