Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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