her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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