i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize