the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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