I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize