Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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