I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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