ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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