gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
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I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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