I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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