Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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