at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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