Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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