Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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