WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
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Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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