please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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