I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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