Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize