You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize