We're facebook friends in real life
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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