So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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